A year ago, I walked into my therapist’s office for the first time. There was this darkness that loomed over me, stealing my focus, my confidence, and my heart. Even when people would praise my work, tell me I’m pretty, or say I’ll be going places, I never believed them. I’d known this darkness since I was a teenager, and there’d be moments when that darkness wouldn’t be there, but still, it always managed to creep back in, like some form of toxic love. And when I finally decided to confront it with the help of my therapist, getting rid of the Hexxus in me wasn’t an instant kill. It took a while, and I was frustrated that I wasn’t getting any better. The darkness was a constant companion, even when my therapist put me on antidepressants. My focus got better; I was able to drawing again. But deep down, I still didn’t feel complete. After months of psychotherapy, I was put on mood stabilizers, and I sought another doctor for a second opinion about my condition. He’d told me the same thing my therapist told me. He just added vitamins to my diet (because I don’t get enough sun […]
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I’m just not so sure about 2017. It was an okay year. Definitely no comparison to how much 2016 sucked, but it wasn’t that great either. I guess you can say it’s part of that prelude to the elixir I mentioned, back when 2016 was still saying bye. It’s still not our Resurrection. We’re still being tested one last time (maybe it’s a test of patience?) for whatever lies ahead. Just like last year, I’d like to take a look back at what made 2017 the year things sorta happened. From going on submission for my debut novel, working on commission pieces for some ～☆dream☆～ clients, to confronting my mental health issues for real, it’s safe to say that the past year was all about personal growth. Being on submission has taught me how to be patient and I’ve since made some new authorly friends on that road (thanks, Twitter). Taking on commission requests from not just new, but also dream clients made me realize the value of my illustrations. And most importantly, facing my mental demons was the biggest change for me. Here are events that made 2017 the good kind of okay that it is: My life as […]
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I opened my present from my friend Isabelle Adrid weeks before Christmas morning. Like a few hours after she gave it to me. Literally the second I got home last Thursday. It was a mug with a floral wreath surrounding the words believe in yourself. How fitting. “Believe in yourself” is something a lot of people have been telling me to do for years now. My family. My boyfriend. My friends. My writing group. My therapist. It sounds so simple, but it really isn’t. I’ve always had this problem with believing in myself and I think it goes all the way back to the first grade. I’d transferred to an all-girls school from co-ed, and I didn’t realize it then, but everything was so different from the world I grew up in. I suddenly had a school uniform, textbooks, homework–things I absolutely didn’t have to deal with in kindergarten. The realization actually struck me just a few months ago when my 3-year-old niece Isla started going to pre-school, and she had textbooks. And homework. I didn’t have any of that in my day (for one thing, she doesn’t go to the same school I did). I’d just hop into the school […]
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We met on Twitter. And we finally had the most excellent hangs over Filipino comfort food at Manam in BGC. That’s me, Rin Chupeco, Hazel Ureta, Isabelle Adrid, and Gail Villanueva. We’re all in different places in our careers as authors. Rin has published some creepy books (The Girl from the Well, The Suffering, The Bone Witch). Gail and I have our debut novels on submission to publishing houses (shout out to our awesome agents Alyssa and Caitie). Hazel is querying and has her manuscript out with agents. And Isabelle is doing a bit of R&R-ing to solidify her YA contemporary. Since Gail and Isabelle recently celebrated their birthdays, they treated and dragged their husbands Marc and Nathan along to help us eat the food. Because it was A LOT of food. And it was good food too. The Chicken Inasal Skewers and House Crispy Sisig are life-changing. Get a bowl of Sinigang na Beef Short Rib & Watermelon–be as greedy as you want, no one’s gonna judge. Then down that with a tall glass of Ube + Sago Shake and/or a tubby cup of Mais con Hielo con Queso. Ay, Dios mío. Your taste buds will thank you. […]
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There are times in life when you need to push yourself hard to move forward. No shortcuts. No whining. And you can’t just leave your responsibilities behind or walk away. Take a deep breath and don’t be too hard on yourself. Focus and finish what you started. You can’t be lazy. You can’t rage quit, because then, you’ll be forced to start from scratch, like your previous efforts don’t mean anything but a waste of time and energy. Be brave. Carry on with the quest. Rise from the battle and emerge victorious, because only then will you finally be able to quick save.
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I’m a city girl who loves to write, draw, and play video games at home. The only other place you’d be sure to find me is at the mall; anything beyond its parameters is too “far” for me. The reason? I just don’t like going out (unless we’re talking about a metal concert or a UDD gig). My brother Hatch is crazy about the outdoors. He’s a mountain biker, an off-road 4×4 truck driver, and a certified boy scout, so he tries to grab any opportunity to get me out of the house. The past weekend, he finally succeeded and brought me to Iba, Zambales. The last time I was in Zambales… well, I can’t remember when, but I know for sure all we did was eat, swim, sleep, and eat again. That’s exactly what I was expecting from this trip, except this time, I had to work on my next book. Revisions on my first one are officially with my agent Caitie, and I won’t be hearing back from her until next week at the earliest. I didn’t really see myself whipping out another doc file just yet, but instead jotting down notes on Evernote and doodling on my […]
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You might not realize this now, but the opening chapter is the most important, most crucial, and most difficult part of writing your book. Beyond the 5-star reviews, NYT Bestseller lists, and the back-of-the-book synopses, readers go straight for the first page to get a taste of this tale and find whether it’s for them or not. People could be raving about a book, it could be #1 for weeks, but if the opener doesn’t click with a reader, it goes straight back to the shelf. Before you think about that published book scenario, where avid readers discover your work, consider what it takes to even get an agent to give you a shot. If you don’t want to take the self-publishing route, you will never see your book on a shelf without the guidance of an excellent agent. When you start querying, you can’t jump in with your favorite scene or chapter; you need to submit the first few pages or your opener (depending on agency guidelines), and make them beg for more. Think of querying as your portal to the literary world. If you don’t get rejected based on your query, you might lose their interest with a wonky first […]
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